In His Hands

Today I did what I thought I'd never do. Maybe I hadn't before because doctors can sometimes be wrong. It could be that I was afraid it would be very bad news that our family just wouldn't want to know. I was lily-livered, chicken, a big baby. But not today.

Strangely enough, it was the Make a Wish Foundation that gave me the push. Not that I hadn't wondered (feared, worried, stressed about it) before. How exciting it was when they called and asked for Micah's information and asked what he'd like. We went online to get ideas. Of course, for Micah, it was an easy choice: "Nicky Nouse's house." The sweet lady on the other end of the line then said they'd call Micah's doctor and be in touch around a month or so. Yay!

I couldn't help wanting to find out more about the program after that. A couple words at the website home page stood out from the rest, "life threatening medical conditions." Hmm. I guess I always thought that this was for children with cancer, aids, or anything equally terrifying. I looked up testimonials. Had any child with cp ever been granted a wish? Yes. Why would that be? I didn't really want to know. Then I did. Then I didn't.

Alright already. Today I typed it in the search engine before losing my nerve: "life expectancy cerebral palsy." There were plenty of entries to choose from. Once started, I couldn't stop hopping from one site to another. Got a bit dizzy till I realized I'd been holding my breath, like something unpleasant was going to pop out at any moment. It did. Most studies seemed to agree that physical abilities like walking, rolling over, sitting, and feeding one's self increased an otherwise low expectancy. Whoa. If I ever wavered in motivation to work with Micah before, I surely have it now.

We are truly blessed. Micah loves to feed himself. He needs help getting food on the fork, but doesn't need any help getting it where it needs to go! You should have seen him chow down the french toast Big Brother made for him on Monday. He can't walk, but before surgery, could stand with help. We are currently working with a physical therapist on getting him back up to snuff on that one as well as many other things. With the help of the hip placement, he is sitting unaided for about five minutes! He also has just begun rolling over again, mostly when trying to get something Mama has placed out of reach.

There is a reason this news didn't shake me as much as I thought it might. My heart has the assurance that God knows when our book is written, and when it should be done. Playing softly in the background of our lives is a steady theme song: "O Lord, thou hast searched me and known me. Though knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thoughts afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art aquainted with all my ways..."

The song gets better as it goes along. You can find the full version in Psalm139:1-18

or just listen closely, and I hope you'll hear it.