Found Tucked in the Bottom of My Old Dresser Drawer

What is this? Folded up, one page ripped.
"Dear Rachie,
I am not sure what to say. It's common for people to say,'I understand what you are going through!' I kinda understand, but it is from the viewpoint of a sister. "
It's coming back to me. Micah was so tiny. Four months, maybe? The doctor told us his head was not growing at a proper rate. She also said he was "behind". We thought that doctor was nuts at first, but as time went on, we came to see what she saw.
"I don't know the pain and sorrow of being the parent of a child with limitations. My parents do, and I can imagine that pain. I can say this: Joey was an extremely handicapped little boy. His limitations were very severe."
I remember this too. I babysat Joey a few times when my cousins couldn't keep an eye on their brother. He was about as big as me, but sweet as can be. And rambunctious!
"I know what it is like to live with him, watch as people tease, (William and I almost killed a couple other kids at the park once) to see the frustration in Joey's eyes when he wanted or needed something but could not communicate. I know what that pain feels like. I also know the joy of watching him laugh. Joey was such a blessing and I guess I never realized how much till later. We never made fun of Joey. We would laugh at his antics. You almost wonder if he was purposely trying to entertain us."
He was.
"We still laugh, not because he is handicap, but because he is our brother and we enjoy him for who he is. I never thought, 'Why isn't he normal?' because to us, Joey was Joey and that was his 'normal'. I have wondered what it would have been like for Joey had he been 'normal', but never, 'Why not?' The teasing was not very often. More often we saw concern in people's eyes. Some would question about him. It is only natural. It was nice to have people show concern. It is a major way to be a witness."
I can identify with this.
"Someone, I think Grandma Harris, told my mom that children are not handicap. They are God's special people. We know that all kids are special in God's eyes, yet children like Joey and Micah are so much more. She also told my mom that God does not trust these children to just anyone. It takes very special parents to raise children with limitations and or handicaps. (although sometimes I wondered about mom and dad) "
Lol. She didn't wonder about her parents. You hafta to know my cousin Sheila. She's just kidding around. All three of those cousins did a lot of that. It is a good way to cope sometimes. "Laughter is the best medicine," right?
"I know this is kinda hard to swallow. Maybe you feel like you or Lucas did something wrong..."
How did she know?
"this is NOT so. First of all, medically speaking, the doctors told mom and dad it had nothing to do with them. In fact, in Down's Syndrome children, there is an extra Y chromosome produced, thus the 'handicap' or there are children who suffer from Cerebral Palsy. They get stuck in the birth canal and they have a limited supply of oxygen."
We had no idea at the time she wrote this letter that Micah had cp.
"Either way you slice it, it is not the parent's fault. It points all fingers to an all-knowing God. Remember the saying, 'God don't make no junk'? Well, if he is all-knowing and all-powerful and perfect, then it stands to reason that he purposely chooses which children will be 'blessed' with limitations and who won't. So, If he chose Micah, then remember this is a blessing in disguise."
Do I believe God singled out Micah, or any special needs child, to bear this burden? Nope. Placenta abruptia did that. Plain and simple. But I get what she is saying.
"God chose Moses with his 'limitations'. And remember, it is we as humans who determine what 'limitations' or 'handicaps' are. To God, nothing is a limitation nor is anything impossible for HIM. God's perfect plan is never wrong nor 'imperfect' and neither are his creations, although there are times we question them. Even the nasty, worthless spider (in my eyes) yet God has a purpose for the little critter."
I have to say, I never considered we might be labeling things as "handicaps" that God did not view as such. Makes me think a little harder. :)
"I love you, Lucas, and the kids so much. It hurts me to ever think of the pain you have endured already. It breaks my heart beyond comprehension. I guess I think too much and try to put myself into someone else's shoes to the point that I really feel their pain. I know that sounds crazy.... I don't even know why I do it. I feel for you and I hurt for you... BUT I know that you have a major blessing that you might not begin to see for a short while. I promise you, though, when Micah laughs or smiles, there is nothing limited or handicap about that. He is not 'slow' in the least bit. He responds to a lot of love and attention... and tickling from all of us. He is not slow in any means. He responds to those around him. I love it! There is nothing that can take that joy away. He is beautiful to me and he is beautifully made by God. I really don't think his situation is severe. He might be 'slow' as the doctors say, but how slow? How long? It may just be a mild case, so continue to have that 'Rachel-rock-hard-faith.' You are such an encouragement to me and a pillar of strength."
Not too sure about that, but I'm coming along.
"I know you may not feel like it right now."
True that.
"Please know this, Rach, God is in control. He can move the mountain if you continue to have faith, or he may decide to leave the perfect mountain in it's perfect place, in spite of your faith. Either way, remain faithful, God is in control, and give Micah the same love, attention, training, and discipline that you do Seth. Treat him as though he has no limitations because he has you and God on his side. I know that God will use him to do great and mighty things.
There is a preacher who visited First Assembly several years ago. His name is David Ring. He was born with cerebral palsy. His brain was starved from oxygen for several minutes during birth. You cannot see anything 'wrong' with him. You notice when he speaks. He has a big speech impediment. He explains his birth, the struggles he still faces, and then he preaches as no other preacher. He is beautiful. His mother would not allow the school to label David as slow. She knew he had some problems, but she treated him like any other child. She made waves when necessary to keep David in school. He ended up graduating high school, then seminary. He knew he wanted to be a preacher. He eventually married and has three or four beautiful children."
I borrowed his book from my cousin. I borrowed the video. Then later, looked him up on the internet. "I have cerebral palsy," he is famous for saying. What's your problem?" Gotta love that guy's attitude.
"So, like I said, God is in control. Micah will be used of God. Continue to love him as before, train him in the ways as our awesome God, and you will see the blessings pour down from heaven.
Okay, I have to end this for now. I am starting to puddle up a little."
Me too.
"Can't break down in front of my class just yet. I'll save it for home. Rachel, I love you. I hope this letter has been an encouragement to you. I don't want to bring you any pain."
It does encourage, even all these years later. She didn't bring any pain. By the creases in this paper I can tell I read and re-read it at one time in my life. How could I have forgotten about it? The things written in here are so very personal, but with her permission, I'd like to share it.
"I just want you to know that I care and that God cares even more. When you feel the need or want, please call me or come to my class to talk. I don't know that I'll have a lot of advice, but I sure do have a whole lot of love to give ya.
PS. Bring my baby to school for a little while Friday. I'll teach him to play Sega Dreamcast so he can beat all of my boys."
She had to have been the most fun teacher in that school.

"LUV SHEILA"
Yep. I do.