And They Are Called Coupons?

I caught Lucas just before he drove it. The very last nail to be hammered on the inside of our home (for at least a few years) was immortalized on film... er... memory card. What a sense of accomplishment! I'd dreamed about celebrating this day with family and friends to much fanfare, but there was still a lot to do. The very next step: finalize the loan. Hmmm. Ever notice how loan rhymes with groan? Anyway, Sitting in the bank office with Lucas and the Suit, I did pretty well keeping up on all of the loan lingo. When the conversation moved on to fish, however, I have to admit, my mind began to wander. Not that I don't like fishing. It might have a little more allure, though, if I'd ever caught anything big enough to actually eat! My eyes wandered around the small office. Most of the man's pictures involved very large fish. Walleyes, apparently. Eesh. He lets 'em go. Why? Do they not taste good? They surely look like they could make a mean fish fry. What if you could catch most of your meat? It certainly would save on the grocery bill. Fish is brain food too. I should feed it to my kids every day. They would grow up to be geniuses! Oh. What about mercury? That is bad for you. Isn't there alot of that in fish? Do fish sticks count for brain food? Doesn't matter. No one in the Greene family will eat those. What did he say? Coupon book! Ooooooo. I know a lot of people who do extreme couponing. I've never quite caught on to that process. Walk into a grocery store with ten cents and leave with a cart full. Wow. I bet they give you an awesome coupon book in return for a home loan. Kinda like a "thank you for signing with us" perk? He's sliding the many papers across the table. I get the feeling I'd better give this my full attention.
In the following weeks, the coupon book was never very far from my mind. It was to come in the mail "any day now". I began making plans. Maybe I should consult with the experts? No. Better wait until we see what stores the coupons are for.
"Our coupon book came today," Lucas said as he tossed the mail on the counter one afternoon.
"Yay! Where?" I searched through the pile. Junk. Junk. Junk... and one thing that looked like a checkbook filler.
"Here," he replied, holding the disappointingly small "checkbook".
Wha? These aren't coupons. They look like little bills. Lots of 'em. Slowly, realization changed the utter shock on my face to chagrin.
" You thought they'd be coupon coupons?" Lucas laughed. And laughed. He's still laughing.
*Sigh* I need to eat more fish.